before bed

Tonight I just feel like I should write. I don't really have too much to say, but I am feeling all clogged up in my head. Like there are a bunch of thoughts up there that want to get out but can't find the escape route. I am currently listening to a page I found on stumbleupon.com called "songs to lie on your bed and stair at the ceiling to", and I like it. I think it is stimulating my creative/philosophical brain. lol.

Have you ever felt like you are coming so close to something that you just want to turn around and run the hell away from it?! cuz I'm kinda feelin' like that towards graduation. This semester is going to be so hard, although not impossible, and I just want to turn around and run in the opposite direction. Like, go get a job at Autobell again or something stupid. There is just soooo much to do before I am ready for the 'real world'.


If I had it my way, I would just capture Ronnie and we would lay on the bed with my head on his shoulder until the end of time. It just seems like all is right with the world when he holds me. I know that's cliche, but it's true. I just lay on his shoulder and breathe. I breathe in the smell of his aftershave or cologne, close my eyes, and know that life will never be more simple than it is in that moment. And then he kisses me on the forehead. I long for that every single day. Daddy used to do that a lot...kiss me on the forehead. I think it's such a sign of affection. **sigh** I just don't even want to wait anymore. But the little kid in me still wants that big wedding and to "live happily ever after" once the wedding day is over. hahaha. I know that's not how it works, but I like the idea anyway. Maybe we can be an exception.

And you know what makes me madder than a wet hornet?! when people stick their dayum noses where they don't belong!!! how dare you stick your nose where it don't belong?! I know this is bold and totally not directed at anyone you know, but omg. I have never been so offended in my life as I was earlier today. Chelsea literally had to remind me breathe b/c I was laughing like a mad woman with hysteria and was the color of the garnet bathroom door. haha! comical now. so glad that's over, but don't think I'll be forgetting that incident any time soon! Forgive the poor person? sure. b/c I am pretty sure they were put up to it. Forgive the person who I think set them up? well, that might take a while. ugh. I AM HAPPY WITH MY FIANCE. I PLAN TO BE WITH HIM AS LONG AS WE BOTH LIVE. I TRULY BELIEVE GOD BROUGHT US TOGETHER, AND WHAT'S THAT VERSE IN THE VOWS? "What therefore GOD hath joined together, let NO MAN put asunder". YEAH, WE'RE GETTING THERE. thanks :D

so that's it for tonight I suppose. Gonna go write in my journal and pass out. always, -r.